#THIS is why i don't fucking date. i hate this so much
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
long awaited part three of lowselfesteem!reader and simon
part two
invisible clothes
that’s what you called them, the rags you don when you have to integrate with the general population but you would much rather not be noticed. clothing that is so bland that it isn’t nice enough catch an eye but not hideous enough to catch any negative attention
you had told simon about them once, when he called you out on wearing them every time you stepped out in public, including your dates with him. especially since he knew you had a very elaborate wardrobe with a tailored sense of style
clearly they aren’t invisible enough to hide you from johnny’s guilty eyes from across the store aisle. you sigh when he comes up to you, tapping your shoulder to get your attention. he shifts uncomfortably on his feet
“I know ye probably hate ma guts, lass but ye should ken that simon shut down all of that bet talk after your first date. Ah just bring et up to annoy ‘im.” johnny says, with a nervous chuckles at the end. you don’t laugh alongside him
“okay, fair enough. look, he’s miserable without ye! he comes to the pub just to get pished and mope about how he fucked it all up with ye.” johnny continues, a pleading look in his eyes, “he’s supposed to he coming by to drop off some things of yours tomorrow. just hear him out, please, lass.”
you roll your eyes at him, continuing to grab what you need from the shelves in front of you. not even bothering to look him in the eyes when you finally begin to speak
"why should I? why am I always expected to think of other people even when they hurt me? you and simon didn't think about me or my feelings when you made your stupid bet. neither of you stopped to consider that I was just a person who simply wanted to be left alone." you say with a scoff, "he'll be lucky if I don't slam the door in his face."
johnny shifts on his feet, looking down at the floor since he feels too uncomfortable to look directly at you, "fair enough. take care've yerself, hen."
you bite back tears as you watch him skulk off in the corner of your eye. you stand there for a few more minutes, staring at the stacked shelves in front of you to distract you from the war raging inside of your head
-
it's late at night, nearly midnight, when there's a knock at your door. you let out a sigh, already knowing who was disturbing your doomscrolling at this hour. and when you open the door, you see him. you’re brooding prick of an ex-boyfriend. he at least has the decency to look guilty, like a dog caught ripping up the couch cushions
except he wasn’t a dog, he was the love of your life. and your heart isn’t so easily replaced like a cushion. though he definitely treated it like somewhere to rest his head
“hey.”
you scoff, you’re not sure why. there isn’t anything inherently wrong with what he said but it still annoyed you. he annoyed you. with his stupid stormy eyes and his stupid jokes and freckled shoulders that you used to connect like dots late at night
“just give me my stuff and go, simon. don’t have time for this bullshit.”
he doesn’t flinch. he saw that hit coming, and sometimes you gotta let them swing at you especially when you know that you deserve much worse
the exchange is quick, a box with small memories passed over to you. a couple items of clothing, a book and some toiletries. before you can slam the door in his face, he jams his heavy boot into it
“wait… love, I… there’s somethin’ else. I never gave it to you but it’s yours. got it for you and I’ll never give it to anyone else.”
the glare you give him only falters when he places a small velvet box in your hand, he pauses the speech you can definitely feel coming on. looking at you expectantly to open it. you do, waiting for him to laugh at you when you find nothing in there. ridicule you for even thinking he would consider making you his wife
but all he does it look on solemn, the beautiful ring twinkling as a devastating reminder of what could have been
“I kno’ I ‘ave no right to ask. I wouldn’t insult you like tha’ lovie. you can hate me, I deserve it. but you don’t deserve it. I won’t let you hurt yourself over what I did. you deserve to know the real extent of how bad I fucked up. maybe it’ll help to look at tha’ ring and know that I’ll spend the rest of my life having to know I lost the woman who should be my wife.”
there’s no chance to respond, not like you’d know what to say anyway,
“I’m sorry.”
and then he’s gone.
655 notes
·
View notes
Note
Imagine reader & rockstar!Gareth (or Eddier, your pick) doing the 'We Listen & We Don't Judge' trend on tik tok & people watch it, expecting hot gossip between the couple but it's just super sweet & wholesome the entire time.
Your mind once again my dear. Spectacular! (Give me 14 of them right now.) I loved the is for both but I’m feeling Eddie right now—I can write a Gareth one if yall want! (Word Count: 420)
“We listen and we don’t judge,” you and Eddie spoke simultaneously as you looked at your phone that was propped up on the table in front of you.
“You first,” you said softly, looking at Eddie.
Eddie nodded, thinking for a second. “Okay, well, when we first started dating and going out on actual dates.. I started a list in my notes on my phone of everything you would order. Your McDonald’s order, your coffee order, your favorite sub and toppings... that way, if I happened to go somewhere without you, I knew what to get for you.” Eddie admitted softly, looking at you.
“Really?” You asked, smiling at him.
“Hey, we listen and we don’t judge,” he replied, looking at you.
“Fine,” you muttered, thinking to yourself. “Remember that Thanksgiving when we went to the wrong house? I did that on purpose because I didn’t want you to meet my grandparents yet. I was so scared you weren’t going to like them and that my niece was going to hate you.” You admitted. Eddie smiled, looking at you.
“I had a feeling that you did that on purpose; you don’t just forget what house you go to for a holiday. But, I love your family baby, almost as much as I love you.”
You blushed, shaking your head. “We listen and we don’t judge.”
Eddie smiled, looking at you. His hand found your thigh under the table, resting on it gently. “I have a whole notebook full of songs I’ve written for you. Little lyrics, notes, there’s so many songs and partial songs in there that I will play for you one day.” You looked at him, mouth falling open as he spoke.
“Really?” You asked softly, a wide smile appearing on your face. He hummed and nodded, smiling wider.
“We listen and we don’t judge,” he said softly.
"I was too scared to talk to you but Gareth pushed me into you the night we met and that's why I ran into you... because Gareth literally hip checked me into your body." You smiled, looking at Eddie.
"Really?" He asked, a smile forming on his face.
"Hey, we listen and we don't judge."
"Yeah, fuck that. I have to go thank Gareth for pushing the girl of my dreams into my lap." Eddie nodded, standing up. He looked at you and smiled, leaving a soft kiss on your lips gently. "I love you, baby girl."
"I love you too, Eddie." You smiled, leaning in for another quick kiss.
eddie tag list: wanna be added? comment + let me know! @keeryhours ; @the-witty-pen-name ; @swiftieintheupsidedown ; @hawkinsmafia ; @pupwrites ; @clown420cunt ; @exploding-bonbon ; @borhapparker ; @corrodedcorpses
#we listen and we don't judge#we listen#we don't judge#stranger things#eddie munson#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson stranger things#eddie munson x you#eddie munson fic#eddie x you#eddie x reader#punkrockmlchael#roz yaps#eddie munson hc#eddie munson hcs#eddie munson headcanons#eddie munson head canon#rockstar!eddie munson#rockstar!eddie x reader#corroded coffin#corroded coffin band#roz answers
99 notes
·
View notes
Text
ON THE RIDE HOME | 𝖓𝖊𝖌𝖆𝖓 𝖘𝖒𝖎𝖙𝖍
✘ summary: negan gets a little too jealous when someone stares at you longer than they should, and he won't wait to get home to prove how much you're his.
✘ pairing: sugardaddy!negan smith x fem!sugarbaby!reader
✘ warnings: jealous negan, daddy kink, fingering, semi-public sex, car sex, breast and nipple play, slight impact play, very dubious negan at the end
It's a silent ride from the restaurant back to Negan's place. It's never usually like thism You'd either be chatting about what's been going on in your lives or teasing and toying with each other in preparation for the "cardio" that you always had after a date.
You play with the hem of the mini dress you were wearing—a vintage Chanel piece that Negan had gotten you a few months ago. You wonder if he didn't like your choice of outfit for the night. But he certainly would've made you change instead of looking you up and down with a smirk on his face if he truly didn't approve.
It's definitely a revealing dress with the way it hugs your curves. The skirt just barely covers your ass and the sweetheart neckline shows off your breasts. But then again, most of Negan's gifts have at least one of the two criteria.
"You alright?" You finally ask, unable to contain yourself. You can't stand the deafening silence any longer, and you have no idea what could've possibly set him off. "What's wrong?"
Negan glances at you before returning his eyes on the road. "I'm fine, doll."
"No, you're not," you argue, crossing your arms. "You're being quiet. What is it?"
You can see Negan's grip on the steering wheel tighten as he sighs. "The fucking waiter back in that restaurant."
You raise your eyebrow. "And? What about him?"
"He was staring down at your tits every chance he got." He grunted, eyebrows furrowing. "Every damn time he came over, he was hovering behind you and staring at 'em."
You can't help but smirk. If there was one thing you loved about Negan, it was how so damn possessive he was of you. He loves showing you off and have everyone looking at you, but he absolutely hates it when any of them try to make a move on you.
"Someone's jealous," you teased, poking his shoulder. Leaning over to him, you kiss his cheek and start rubbing his thigh. "I love it when you're jealous."
"Doll, I'm not jealous."
"C'mon, daddy, no need to be grumpy," you whisper in his ear, your hand sliding up his thigh, going higher and higher until it arrives at his crotch.
A low hum leaves Negan's throat as you grab his semi-hard cock through the fabric of his slacks, your fingers wrapped around and palm pressed against his girthy length. Rubbing his cock, you feel it harden and grow under your touch. Licking your lips, you reach for his zipper before he grips your wrist to stop you.
"Not yet, sweetheart. We don't want to get in an accident because my dick's down that pretty throat of yours now, do we?"
You blush as you pull yourself off of him. Too eager to please him, you almost forgot he was driving. You look out the window as the trees and cars pass by your line of view. The car then goes off the road and onto the grass before Negan parks it behind a couple of trees.
"Why are we stopping?" You ask, looking at the array of trees that barely covered the view of the highway, and likely unsuccessful from hiding the parked sports car on the side of the road from the passing drivers' end.
That's when Negan reclines his seat as far as it could before patting his leg. "This is where I'm gonna fuck your brains out, doll."
Your cheeks get hot, both out of being shy and being turned on by the risky situation Negan put the both of you in. Just the thought of having his thick cock stretch out your tight pussy in such a place makes you squirm in your seat. Still, you can't help but ask—
"What if we get caught?"
He chuckles before leaning over to you, his lips pressed to your ear while his hand rubs the inside of your thigh. "Honey, if that happens, I'll just fuck your sweet pussy even harder. I don't care how they do, but everyone's going to find out that you're mine."
He spreads your legs open, forcing your short dress to hike up and reveal the wet spot on your panties. "Look at you, sweetheart, I barely even touched you and you're already ready for me."
Negan presses the pad of his thumb against your clit through the soaked fabric, making you gasp. He pushes your underwear aside, before sticking two of his calloused fingers in your hole, your juices making them slide in easily.
"I saw the way that waiter was lookin' at you. You have no fucking idea how badly I wanted to punch that piece of shit in the face," Negan growls as his fingers pump in and out of your needy pussy, his thumb toying with your sensitive nub. "I wanted to bend you over the table and fuck you in front of him and everyone else at that shitty restaurant staring at you, let 'em know you're mine."
Your moans become louder as his fingers work themselves inside of you faster, your back arching as your nails dug into the luxury leather of the passenger seat for support. With your chest pushed out, Negan takes the opportunity to grab the front of your dress and pull it down, your tits spilling out. The cold air from the air conditioning hits your nipples, making them erect.
"I've been starin' at these since I saw you tonight—I fucking loved watching them bounce and jiggle with every move you made." He reveals, squeezing one of your breasts in his free hand. With his thumb and index finger, he rolls your nipple between them, pinching and pulling at the hard nub. "I know those fucks at the restaurant were staring at 'em too. But y'know what, sweetheart? I don't blame them."
Negan's lips latches themselves onto your other breast, tongue flicking and rolling around your nipple. You arch your back further at the sensation, his face pressing against your tits while his greying stubble grazed your soft skin. His fingers continue pumping themselves in and out of your pussy, the squelching sound of his fingers against your folds mixing with your moans and pants. You're getting close to cumming, so close to making a mess from his fingers alone.
Just as waves of pleasure were about to come over you, Negan yanks his fingers out of your pussy and takes his mouth off your tits. You can't help but cry out, legs shaking from how good he was making you feel.
You whine, looking at him with doe eyes and pouty lips, which only made him chuckle as he licks off your juices from his fingers.
"Do you want to cum, doll?"
You nod your head eagerly, desperate to continue what he'd put on hold. Instead of his fingers continuing to work it's way inside you, your non-verbal response only gets you a smack on your inner thigh, making you squeal.
"You better use your words, honey." He says, his hand hovering over your thighs as a warning. "I know I fingered you good, but I doubt it was enough to make you dumb."
"Yes, daddy, I want to cum. Please let me cum," you splutter, lustful desperation laced in every word that left your mouth.
He grins, satisfied with your answer, before taking off his shirt, giving you a view of his stubbly chest and his tattoo-covered muscles. You lick your lips in anticipation as he unzips his pants and pulls out his thick, veiny cock, which is proudly standing upright from how hard it already is.
"Don't think I'm gonna do all the work for you, darling." Negan grunts as he leans back in his seat, tapping on his thigh.
You fully pry off your dress and underwear from your body before eagerly crawling over to his side of the vehicle and straddling his lap. Positioning yourself over his cock, some of your wetness travels down from your folds and directly onto the veiny shaft. Hitching your breath, you start to sink onto his member, letting your needy hole be filled with his length. Moans leave your lips as you're stretched wide open by his girth, eyes almost rolling back at the all-too-familiar feeling of his dick inside of you.
Eventually, you have taken him in until the base, all in one thrust. You stay seated on Negan's lap while his cock was snuggly deep inside you. Biting your bottom lip, you looked up to Negan, who was humming lowly at how tightly you were squeezing him. Even after all this time, he could never get enough of the feeling of your inner walls wrapped around him.
"That's my good girl, taking my cock so well." He grins, reaching behind you to spank your ass, your skin rippling at the contact. "Now, show me how badly you want to cum."
You don't need to be told twice. Your hips start moving, almost as if raising and falling on their own. You start with slow, methodical thrusts, savoring the way his dick filled you up every time you went down on him. But it just isn't enough. You can't control yourself; his cock feels so good inside you. It's not long before you're bouncing up and down his thick length, both of your grunts and moans filling the air inside the vehicle.
You place your hands on his chest to steady yourself, nails almost digging into his skin at how addictive it was having his cock inside you. Negan has you stretched out so good, almost as if his cock was made to stretch and fill your pussy.
"Atta girl, show me how much you want this cock," Negan growls, his calloused hands toying with your bouncing tits. "C'mon baby, be a good fucking girl and cum all over Daddy's cock."
His words are like music to your ears. You pick up the pace, ignoring the burning in your legs from constantly thrusting yourself on his dick. You don't care how tired you were; it feels so goddamn good. Eventually, you lose all sense of rhythm in your thrusts; you're just mindlessly and sloppily riding his cock with one goal in mind.
"Fuck, I'm getting close," Negan grunts, before grabbing your hips and slamming upwards into you.
With the tight grip of hands on your hips, he's forced you to stay put as he fucks your hole. Negan leans forward to latch his lips on your neck, his teeth gnawing at and sinking into your skin. A mixture of moans and cries leave your lips as your legs shake from the sensations he's putting your body through.
The pressure continues to build from the pit of your stomach until you're finally over the edge, euphoria coming over you as your body shakes from your long-desired orgasm. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as Negan continues to slam his cock inside your quivering pussy, before you feel spurts of his hot cum shoot inside you.
Negan's fingers loosen on your hips—which you're sure will bruise from his grip—and you allow yourself to sink back down on his cock, keeping his seed plugged inside of you. You lean forward, pressing yourself against Negan, who immediately wraps his arms around you as you both come down from the high of your orgasms.
"Daddy, that was amazing," you breathe out, your fingers tracing over the outlines of the tattoos on his sweat-slicked chest.
He chuckles, running his hand through your hair. "You always say that, doll."
Just then, you start seeing red and blue lights and the sound of sirens. You look up and see a police car parked behind, with a uniformed officer stepping out.
You quickly scramble to get off Negan's lap and put your clothes back on, but he grabs you by your waist and slams you back down on his cock. "Not so fast, darling."
"What are you doing?" You squeak, squirming as his vice-like grip forces you to stay put with his dick inside you. "There's a cop coming over!"
Negan just laughs—as if it was incredulous for you to not want to be seen in such a situation.
"Sweetheart, did you think I was joking when I said I wanted everyone to know you're mine?"
#the walking dead#twd#twd smut#negan smith#twd negan#negan smith x reader#negan smith x you#negan smith smut#jeffrey dean morgan#jdm#jdm smut#jdm x reader#negan smut
59 notes
·
View notes
Text
lord give me strength i need to figure out how to break up with someone i'm not even dating
#THIS is why i don't fucking date. i hate this so much#i wish he would just ghost me i'm so serious. i'm not trying to be a dick but how the fuck am i supposed to tell someone#i don't really like them that much anymore when i've never even voiced the first part out loud.#i don't know if i'm aromantic or extremely avoidant or just maybe a straight up asshole but i am not made for dating or relationships#i am seriously so deeply afraid of the idea of people getting attached to me. what if i change my mind. i don't wanna be trapped here#the best part about this whole post btw is that i'm probably gonna change my mind in like 72 hours❤️#shut up hanna
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
the rage i am experiencing rn i actually should be sequestered in a lab
#met a friend for what should've been quiet food/drinks last night. but nooooo he brought along some random drunk american divorcée who spent#the night traumadumping at us. one thing about me is i hate plans changing last minute and i HATE having to meet ppl i don't know without#prior preparation. no i'm not autistic why do you ask. but i was in sooo much pain and just general bad form before i even got anywhere plus#the bar was so fucking loud/drag was happening it was just NOT the vibes. and it takes so much to get me out the door in the first place#i straight up grilled my friend after being like 'if you bring a randomer along to one of our dates again i am leaving' lol in fairness he#was like. genuinely concerned for her wellbeing. but he's been so flaky lately and i am suffering from my general ailments and maladies#by the time she left after crashing our entire night out i basically had to leave bc i felt too horrible to stay out and chat. it just feels#so unfair.#anyway remind me not to go bars in future especially at the weekend and just like. meet people for a quiet dinner or something lmao#.txt
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
i realised my hatred for history (school subject) isn't because it's boring but because every single oral exam and exam that put me through so much stress and anxiety and having to memorise so much bullshit at once was always history. ever since elementary btw
#sunflower rambles#its actually quite interesting sometimes but i hate it so much#for this. its so stressful#why do i need to remember SO MUCH at once#and they put so much emphasis on memorising specific dates too#that you really don't fucking need in your life#especially if it's ancient history#totally not gonna deal with this tomorrow <- still didn't memorise shit of what i need
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
I can't decide if I should be funny and write Cap as a leering Perv possessive kind of guy or stick closer to his personality and have him be a gentleman/chivalrous kind of guy.
#Captain Pikachu#My heart says funny because honestly. Getting eyes from an electric rodent is SO funny to me#Cap who uses the fact that he's small and cute to just casually hang around private spaces#You step out of the shower and he's there with a smirk#dksfjdsjfksdk I dON'T KNOW DON'T ASK ME#But also Cap the kinda guy to use his lighting speed to put Friede's jacket on you after you ran out of your room in your PJs#Oblivious X Chivalrous is a VERY good trope to me I'm thinking like Dojo/Iku from Library Wars style you know??#No of course you don't I'm referencing a manga based on a light novel#Also why the hell is Friede's name spelled like that fuck you. It's Freed dammit.#sdjfhdsjf I've had to google it like seven times I hate it so much why'd they spell it like that#Anyway#I'm thinking of writing a Captain Pikachu X Reader#To sort my thoughts on him a bit better#And I'm trying to figure out what'd just be more fun to write#Reader is a Human btw Cap sees himself equal to the humans around him so I think he'd date a human#Probably another member of the crew#Aaaanyway I'll think on it#And who knooows what'll happen
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
oh my fucking godddddd i wish i could come out to my parents
#maddie.txt#alright rant once again folks. u ain't gotta read it lmfao i'm just whining </3#my dad loves talking about when i'll be married and get a husband and how i'm probably gonna find some random guy in college#i just absolutely hate the fact that i'm assumed to be allo but i kinda get it bc like 97% of the population is allo but still#idk. i just makes me really uncomfortable like bro i don't have a type whatsoever even when i do have crushes i never really think of#marriage and even though i'm technically only attracted to men i know full well that he's not gonna accept it#like my dad was just saying how once i get into college/my career i'm gonna find men that 'check all the boxes'#and btw i have told this man many times that i've never had an interest in having a husband or kids but not even 10 minutes ago he just#told me that even though i don't want to get married/have kids that if god 'presents you with a man' that i should take it and get married#whether i want to or not?? what the fuck???? and he said to my younger brother that he should do the same w/ his future wife/gf which is#absolutely insane. (also dad constantly refers to our future spouses as 'mates' which i find weird as fuck) and just that along with the#fact he outright told me sometime last year that (literally his words) women are 'products bought by men' that have#'time limits and expiration dates' and that's why 'men buy them (women) while they're 21‚ 22‚ 23' so. yeah .#that last bit was a side rant but god i just wish i could be confident he could accept i was demi-aroace it would just make things#so much fucking easier and less weird and uncomfortable but it's just sometimes i wonder where the blurred line is between where my#sexuality ends and where the effects of purity culture begin. and maybe throw in some childhood trauma and witnessing domestic violence as#well. i don't know. the only thing that helps is that i felt 'different' even before Shit Got Bad so that's nice.#in conclusion i wish father dearest know that i'm not allo in the slightest and there's a pretty decent chance i may not get married at all#and i'm very sure god's chill w that. bc like i'm still a normal person with hobbies and shit. i'm just some queer bitch who likes coding#and wildlife photography and has a few weird issues to sort out. i'm just an aroace with exceptions my guy. it's not too hard to understand#also sorry to my friends/mutuals who i haven't talked to much lately. i'm terrible at starting convos but i know that i love you like#the moon loves the earth okay? :)
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sometimes i hate to be the one who's always right
#i suspect that my ex bestfriend like the one i've been friends with for over a decade is now dating that one guy friend#who i was really into years ago when we were all from the same group of friends#and the point is that i ALWAYS had that gut feeling she was also into him but due to the fact that she was always dating someone else#she never really gave him a chance#and she knew i had some feelings for him at the time (she never tried to help us get closer btw which i took that as a subtle sign lol)#<- i mean thats what friends do right? especially really close ones#and one time she almost tried to start a make out sesh with him knowing i was there to witness it happening#she then brushed it all off saying she was drunk and blah blah blah#fucking bitch#i should've fucking ended it that day tbh#why am i mad about it now? i don't know#i just hate the idea that she could've started dating him earlier instead of supporting me trying to get close to him or whatever#possibly behind my back for a bit even#and me being so right about it since the very fucking beginning#if y'all ever catch me posting about how much i miss that person you're allowed to come to my house and beat the shit out of me#cause i don't and i didn't deserve this#end of rant
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
hey aros/aces of tumblr has anyone else figured out to express the sentiment "I hate it when people complain about being single to me" to allos without them launching into the perfectly valid ways in which they are unhappy with their singleness or conflating "complain about being single" with "talking about dating or being attracted to anyone."
#tempted to just make it i hate it when people complain about being single to me because if you're not happy single#you won't be happy in a relationship. bc that's more acceptable than being like. yah its bc im aromantic#like i get it i get it it's a big thing! its a valid complaint! making it to me is the equivalent of talking about how much you hate kids#to someone who has kids. im glad i tested expressing this opinion to my good friends first before letting it Breach Containment#maybe like i hate it when ppl try and commiserate with me about being single. although that does exclude just the person who complains abou#being single and then when you offer possible solutions they reject all of them and like. alright fuck me do you really want a partner or n#although i might be having an autism moment there and that one is also. commiserating. which explains why im ok w my more autistic friends#complaining bc they mean what they say. bc like if i can't relate to ur emotions. at least let me fix problem#aro#ace#aroace#idk like i'm fine with hearing about my friends dating lives crushes funny moments etc. love that! love that for them#want 2 be up to date on the lore. but when it starts being 'you know how being single is the worst thing in the world' like nope! not me!#please you are making me so uncomfortable do you know how long it took me to accept that i don't want what you want?#do you know how much it hurts that you think i want something that i would never be happy in?
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
"reblog for something lgbt to happen to you" at this point i'd be grateful if something straight happened to me
#bluebird.txt#i'd love to stop feeling like an unlikeable freak!!!#i get it i'm gay i look at least like a lesbian and at queerest as Some Thing I'm Not Sure How to Gender#but like. damn bro!#not even anyone? at all?#first of all i get no attention from girls and there's barely any thems (and im friends with most of the thems)#secondly not that i want the attention of cishet men but as i said before i'll take fucking anything to feel something#the most i get from cishet men has been laughing when i run because im late to class or a concert#like okay wow you find someone just running funny? i pity your entire brain#i think im just bored#its not like i understand romantic stuff any more really#i understand it on a logical level i think#but tell me why when i find a girl i have a huge crush on the SECOND i just need out platonically with someone else#the girl evaporates from my brain#and when i make the attempt to put myself out there and be like hey wanna go on a date?#all will to actually go on the date also evaporates?#she hasn't answered and that's an answer so im like alright even if you texted me late i actually do not care if i never see you again#not in a malicious way!!! just in a very bland you have not made a meaningful impact on my life way even though you seem cool!#which doesn't sound much better but trust me i mean these factually objectively not personally meanly#i have other friends mostly cis friends who have gotten guys after them and as much as like most of those guys are at best#a little annoying and at worst sort of creeps#like. THAT'S NEVER HAPPENED TO ME EITHER!!!#when i walk alone on campus esp when it's dark i do worry about assault and rape and stuff#but that's just the statistics and stuff#i know i'm not immune but in a weird way not being liked by anyone at all gives me reassurance that well#at least i'll probably never be assaulted at least not any time soon bc no one's ever looked at this (me) and had any kinds of#attracted thoughts#though that's definitely a false sense of security#after all someone could decide they hate transgenders and gender ambiguous people and assault me of course that could always happen!#i don't think it's likely to but. you never know!
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
sometimes my boobs hurt so much i think they're gonna bleed surely this is normal right
#i think im pmsing.. but im not sure#like the dates aligned but also they've been super irregular hence the whole pcod etc#like im already wearing a size 38 bra because of all this fucking weight gain#and even that feels tight?? like the next size available was free size😭😭#but like it feels normal good even everyday just from the past two days it's been hurting like hell#and fucking worst festivsl of the year so i can't even stay in my room bra off all day#but oh god why do they pain so much it's never been like this before ive been having periods since i was 11 and im 21 now#maybe another pcod uhh idk side effect? symptom? whatever it's called#and i definitely have that pms wali feeling#i mean i haven't broken down yet but#you know that feeling when you WANT something but you don't know what and you try everything but nothing works#like i ate pasta i ate ice cream i studied and accomplished my targets i slept a lot i watched comfort show#i even washed my hair and danced to so many songs today morning while booping#but then it keeps crashing#and it's not enough#don't ask me what's it because even i do not know#i think i want. a hug. i guess#but from my bestfriend#because me and my sister keep fighting and i don't think she's really understanding me rn#but i think she's (bsf) avoiding talking to me because she's getting back together with her shitty boyfriend#i want to call and whine and say fuck that i don't care just talk to me but#i can't#the thought of asking for help needing people is. wow it's genuinely making me puke#i hate hate HATE being pathetic and needy#sometimes i wish#i mean obviously i would prefer it if i was perfectly healthy qnd normal and fine#but sometimes i wish someone just looked at me and said#oh honey how are you carrying so much sadness inside you and hiding it so well?? how are you even functioning???? how are you not#on the floor wailing and crying and unable to get up?#like you need [insert idk pills or whatever the cure is] BADLY
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
i've been going into the liam tag from time to time the last year where both his fans and people who hated him were Weird about him well before there were any allegations so i would get curious, i don't even remember what started it (maybe it was merely looking for photos that update accounts wouldn't post), but i normally try to avoid going into anything but edit tags for people i enjoy bc there are so many nonsense takes
and of course happening to go through today before the news broke bc i wanted to see what was being said about the abuse as i've only gotten bits on twitter and of course there were many posts rightfully calling it out and all but there's that weird mentality which i was getting a lot more of from twitter but some on here where they're like??? celebrating it and girlboss-ing and i'm just like. okay it's great that you're believing a victim but you're making light of it by talking about it like it's just another stan thing, i have seen that time and time again when this kind of stuff comes out and if people already thought that person was annoying or whatever they're just like "oh yes! i knew it! their career is ruined haha!" and it's like. you clearly don't actually care about the horrible things this person has done and just want to brag that you somehow ~knew~ a stranger's vibes were off and it's so beyond gross like you could use that energy to support a person's victims and instead you'll just try to prove you stan the right people and never the wrong ones or whatever
#and then there were. weird ones#some apparent larrie who didn't seem to like either louis or harry#literally the post that popped up was talking about louis knowing he can't stand on his own bc he can't sing like#has he not very much proven he can stand on his own#he's not as famous post 1d as say harry but i doubt he wants to be lol even harry doesn't want to be#he stays off social media and just gets papped sometimes like both clearly thrive on stage just in different ways ya know#so that was just unnecessary and a block#and then someone else not defending liam or anything but talking about how they're probably all horrible to women#and niall and harry apparently cheating on gfs (never heard anything about that not that i think harry's relationships have been real#and it took me a while to realize when talking about niall having songs written about him they probs meant hailee but#idec what those songs are and if they reference cheating so whatever i think i'm out of the loop on rumors and stuff#where i used to always know what was going on with 1d like i wouldn't have even known about liam if not for the fyp on twitter#bc truly i just don't follow people who post about their personal lives anymore not a choice or anything just that the og 1d blogs are gone#but i was like okay even if any of THAT is true why on earth would you put that on par with abuse. why.#cheating is sooooooooo fucking shitty and i truly hate it but like not the same???#oh and saying niall is a bad person for taking a selfie with him even though none of us know what he knew esp at that point like#most of this seemed to be coming out right after the concert like come on#there's just sooooooo much all around of people pretending they know these people personally#both to defend and criticize and it's just like please i love 1d so much i always will#but man like believe victims always but also don't blindly believe every other random rumor you hear#or that you know exactly what's going on behind the scenes bc you don't and you never will#oh and ofc someone wondering about his other exes like tbf we don't know how much addiction and whatnot came into play#so yeah it might not all be recent developments but are you really gonna ask about danielle who as an adult dated 17 year old liam
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
been thinking about how danse is who nora is endgame with in death shroud. it compels me
#random thoughts#fallout#okay first of all. and this is largely unrelated but i'm watching a danse romance comp#and??? his authority over you and his desire for your obedience + him saying machines need to be controlled = need to see him on his kneess#i don't like him but i need someone to fuck this man#okay anyways. nora's husband who was in the military was killed. nora then shacks up with a member of an evolved version of the military#and the way danse is written. like he very much could dedicate himself to nora in the same way he dedicated himself to the brotherhood#dude is very vulnerable to cult tactics idk what to tell you#also the fact he's like 'physically im a synth but mentally and otherwise im a human being' and doesnt stop ans think#'oh hey maybe other synths are also human beings' like dude thinks he's the exception#also nora adopts synth shaun. danse is assumedly his adopted dad. ???#this man is so good at compartmentalization like jesus#even funnier if you consider the headcanon that nora is also a synth. they're both just like 'i hate synths but you and i. we're different'#how do nick and curie feel about nora marrying danse.#like wtf you're romantically involved with someone who actively views synths as lesser???#'he's working on it' WELL MAYBE DON'T FUCK HIM WHILE HE'S DOING THAT???#and hancock!!! HE LITERALLY. HE. HE HAS NO EXCUSE FOR HIS GHOUL BIGOTRY#'he was raised in a cult' yeah and he should work on that. maybe the person who's friends with several minorities shouldn't DATE HIMMMM#like yeah be friends with him sure that's fine people in cults need friends outside the cult when adapting to the outside world#but nora. girl. why are you doing this#all this could be cool if they meant to do it but i know they put zero thought behind it#also my headcanon for nate and nora is nate was an asshole who pressured nora into quitting her job as a lawyer to be a sahm#like in a 'it's just temporary honey! unless...' way#and nora absolutely did not bond with the baby and started hating her husband and her baby (very guiltily) and her life#and then she started getting really into cheesy noir dramas. to cope.#that was absolutely unrelated but i needed to get that out there
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hanging out with the bestie is scream laughing about funny/cringy shit we did when we were in middle school, then immediately after talking about why we feel unlovable lmao
#not snz#the duality of man fr lmaooooo#my stomach literally hurts from laughing so much#and then we goddamn were like 'anyway there's something wrong with me on the romance department'#amazing ahdkakslal#no bc I'm fucking weird like#whenever i like someone it's just kinda for fun#like it's not serious and i don't want it to go anywhere i just like having a little crush i guess#idk how to explain it but it seems nice in my head i just don't wanna fr date them?? but it's nice to imagine???#but the second i find out they like me it's over and done and i don't like them anymore#like no absolutely not it can't be real#i literally have no idea why I'm like this#it's fr just a celebrity crush but with my friends#i don't get it#like yeah i absolutely should like them in theory and want to date them#like i know anyone else in my position would be so happy their crush liked them back#but for me i hate it like it ruins the whole thing bc i don't actuslly wanna date them?????#genuinely no clue what's wrong with me that makes me panic and frantically try to press the backspace button when my crush likes me back#but that's why i don't have a partner LMAO#idk maybe my person feels safe bc it's technically not a real relationship and therefore it's safe#whatever I'm too tired to deal with this but just know there's something so fucking wrong with me#also i know i was literally just talking about this like a day ago but I'm still think about it#like fr what is wrong with me someone tell me what flavor of fucked up i am that I'm like this lmao
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
OH NO I THINK I MIGHT HATE THE PUPPET EPISODE ACTUALLY THIS SUCKS
#i hate wesley so much i hate his stupid little pining over fred so much i have such insane bitch eating crackers syndrome about him#words come out of his mouth and i want to start throwing rocks at him#also WHY DO THEY DO A SILLY JOKEY BIT OF ANGEL LISTING REASONS HE DOESN'T WANT TO DATE NINA#AND THEY DON'T MENTION THAT CORDY FUCKING DIED TWO EPISODES AGO#I FEEL INSANE. THIS IS MY JOKER ORIGIN STORY#ifer rambles#ifer's ats rewatch
6 notes
·
View notes